Curiosity killed the cat

Where do I start? 

The last few weeks have been a blur of new information and fresh ways of thinking. I really don't know where to start!

My mind has always been like a browser with far too many tabs open and I find myself regularly needing to streamline the assortment of information available to me. I decided to read through several module one blogs so I could begin deciphering the massive question of describing my practise. Where does one start?

Several other students had decided to talk about what they value most within their practise. As someone who believes strongly in the power of gratitude I felt this was a wonderful place to start. I managed to put it into two boxes. 

One. Opportunity. More than anything as a performer I value the opportunities I am given to play. As adults we rarely get this opportunity (which I believe is why so many chase the feeling drugs and alcohol give them but that is a whole different subject). 
I value the opportunity to play in an audition, play onstage and get the chance to have fun doing so! It's what makes my practise one of the best and most unusual.

Two. Other artists. The contribution of other artists to my experience everyday is quite incredible. Whether I am working a performing job or handing out leaflets, performers are just wonderful. Everyone needs to spend time with a performer at least once in their lives.

I did begin to delve into the internet and the Web 2.0 aspect of the modern industry but I felt this didn't hold the same value as the other two areas. I have kept a gratitude journal since moving to London in 2017 and have found this one of the best ways to reflect on my busy day to day life. 

I also began to look at my training. I trained on the foundation in Acting and then the Acting for Stage and Screen Diploma at PPA in Guildford. I found reflecting on my training felt sore, like a wound that hadn't quite healed. I spent my final year incredibly unhappy, as though I was always on edge. This came from a variety of places but mainly my lack of self confidence and ability to see my own worth at the time. 

But have I managed to define my practise? No, not yet. 

I have been lucky enough to work across a range of mediums and this is why it is so difficult to put myself in a box. If I had solely worked in Shakespeare and Jane Austen I would find it easy to define myself as a 'classical actor'. This is the kind of work commonly recognised (maybe snobbishly so), as the work of a 'classical actor'.
But I have also worked on green screen, commercials, immersive theatre, pantomime and solely as a model... am I a classical actor? 

No. But are any young performers classical actors in 2020? Is it even possible to make a living being so when the range of acting opportunities are so diverse? Since the decline of rep theatre companies and the massive increase in those embarking on actor training, performers need more strings to their bow than they imagine. We all need to pay our rent. How are we defining our practise in this world?

I'll get there. I'm just not there yet.

Is this a classical actor or a girl playing dress up?

I'd love to hear your thoughts!

(As I was writing this my housemate dashed into my room with my copy of 'Art as Experience' by John Dewey and I am very excited to start reading this)